


How to ruin a hobbit's reputation: a lesson by two dwarves

by Alckalin



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bagfurshield, Fluff, M/M, Multi, No seriously fluff saga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:03:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alckalin/pseuds/Alckalin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo needs to go back to the Shire to bring some of his belongings to Erebor and properly say goodbye to his relatives. While it pains Thorin and Bofur, they still agree, and let him go. But what they don't know is that he won't come back as fast as planned...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ibijau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ibijau/gifts).



They were all lying in the great royal bed. Bilbo was between the two Dwarves, his back leaning against Thorin’s chest. This was the hobbit’s favourite way of sleeping, and their most common one, for the Dwarves found advantages in it too: since they were bigger that their little burglar, they were able to hold each other over him. This was also one of the few sleeping positions in which Thorin would not accidentally throw one of them out of bed during the night. He could move a lot when he was not holding anything.

I had been almost a year and a half since Erebor was regained. They had been through a lot; Thorin’s deadly wounds almost killed him, and the mere thought of it still made Bofur and Bilbo shiver with fear. He had lost a part of his left leg during the Battle of the Five Armies, which had to be cut a bit under the knee. During the day, he would put a metal leg at the end of his limb to be able to walk properly – he never admitted that it was the only way for him to walk without a cane, though everyone had already figured that up.

Almost a year, and their relationship was known to each one of their friends. They had all accepted it cheerfully, because if holding his lovers against him during the day made Thorin smile and laugh with them, nobody had anything against it. The only one that seemed a tiny bit unhappy about it was Fili, who would sometimes complain about being doomed to be the first heir to the throne. He was ready to say to anyone that he hated learning and was not in a hurry for experiencing “real political mess”.

So everything was just fine at the moment. Gandalf had also come back from the Shire, and had talked to Bilbo the previous evening, and…

…and well, he now had an announcement to make.

“I need to go back to the Shire.”

Bilbo felt Thorin’s arms tense as they held both him and Bofur tighter. He did not like bad news in the morning at all.

“After all we’ve been through?”, he heard the dwarf ask in a cold tone. “Do you even care about us?”

“Shh, Love, listen to what he has to say.” Bofur said as he softly caressed Thorin’s chin, trying to calm him down. He was always really good at it, for the king was very fond of his lover’s low voice.

Bilbo took a deep breath and glanced at Thorin over his shoulder, offering him a sorry smile.

“Gandalf told me yesterday that he arrived in the middle of an auction held in my own house, and, well, I don’t like the idea of it. I mean, I’m not _that_ attached to my belongings, and I don’t really give a damn about my knives, forks and plates anymore…”

Hearing about the knives and forks, Bofur laughed softly from the back of his throat, before humming a well-known melody to the ears of the hobbit. Bilbo shivered – because well, who did not like Bofur’s voice – and stopped in the middle of his sentence.

“Don’t even mention that, I’m still mad at you for it!”

The dwarf laughed softly, rubbing the other’s bare cheeks, before whispering softly to him, half-singing: “that’s what Bilbo Baggins hates.”

Bilbo sighed and turned to the other side, only to face Thorin who looked torn between being angry at Bilbo planning to leave and jealous about the private joke.

“Sometimes I am wondering if you two really care about me or if I am only here to warm the blankets.”

Both Bilbo and Bofur protested at this, and it took a great amount of reassuring words and loving kisses to finally soften the king.

~#~

It took them a while, but both Bofur and Thorin finally agreed to Bilbo’s leaving. He would leave alone with Gandalf the next week, and Bofur would leave the city under the mountain exactly one year after his departure. By the time he would arrive in Bag-End, Bilbo would have finished to sort out his belongings, gift some to his family and sell what he did not want to bring nor gift. The rest would have to be brought to Erebor, and that was why Bofur would come, to ensure he would travel safely. That was in fact a safer plan than asking Gandalf to escort Bilbo back to the mountain, since you never knew when the wizard would leave you on your own. At first they had planned for Bofur to leave with Bilbo, but Thorin had looked so miserable at the mere idea of _he_ being alone for maybe more than a year, while knowing that _they_ would get to spend time together. But it still pained the king to let one of his beloved ones go and leave them.

“Are you sure that more than one year away from us won’t prevent you from coming back?”

Bilbo rolled his eyes and allowed himself a smile.

“Of course not, Thorin. And even if I changed my mind, I’m sure Bofur would still come and drag me back to the mountain.”

“Aye, I’ll carry him on me back if I have to, don’t ye worry.”

Thorin let out a sigh, apparently feeling better. Only apparently, for he frowned slightly before taking both his lovers’ hands in his, and softly kissed each of them.

“Bilbo, before you leave, there is something I would like us to do. All three of us”

Two kind smiles. “Just tell us.”

Thorin seemed a bit embarrassed – well, at least for people really knowing him, because no one had seen the king being something else that fabulously fabulous. He took a deep breath, and laid his eyes of Bofur.

“I’d like us three to be wed. No… no great feast. Just the hair rings, you know?”

The other dwarf chuckled soflty, and turned to Bilbo to explain him.

“It’s a tradition ‘mong dwarves. Ye braid yer lover’s hair, and end the braid with a ring ye made yerself. It can be made of anythin’, really: gold, silver, bronze, stone, or wood… usually it indicate ye social rank too.”

The Hobbit smiled and nodded, but they could read on his face that he was not agreeing fully to this. “I like the idea, but if we get to have a dwarven wedding, I’d also like a hobbit touch to it.”

The others shared a look. “Which is?”

“Well we hobbits like to party. I know Thorin doesn’t want to have a great feast because he does not want the whole mountain to know about us (Thorin opened his mouth to protest, but Bilbo smiled softy and put his hand on his lips to prevent him from even trying), but I’d like to have a least a small party with our friends.”

“Sounds like a great idea to me!”

“Alright”, finally whispered Thorin before kissing his beloved hobbit.

 

~#~

They held the small party in one of the old banquet rooms. Officially, it was supposed to celebrate Bilbo’s departure with all his friends, hence no one asked questions when Thorin specified that they should not be disturbed at any rate, and added that if Thandruil was to choose this very day to pay a visit to the “Friend of the Elves”, he could take a chair and read the ten pages-long hate-letter that the king had written to him.

All had participated in preparing the feast: Bombur had been in the kitchens for two days, busy cooking, the youngers had hung the decorations and set the table (which Balin, Dori, Nori and Bifur had made themselves after chopping down a huge pine tree), and Gloin had brought his wife and son “to honour the feast with their presence.” And of course, Gandalf had brought some fireworks with him. It lasted for a whole afternoon and a great part of the night. Or maybe the whole night, Bilbo was not sure, for he, Bofur and Thorin had left in the middle of the night, to “consume the wedding”, as the toy-maker had whispered to him with a wink. He might have blushed really hard at that moment. And maybe moments later too.

The wedding night ended with the braiding in dwarf tradition. After a romantic bath – and when they had clothes back on –, the three of them sat on the bed with Bilbo in the middle. He was the first one to get his hair braided by his now husbands, and, well, could not prevent from blushing all the time at the mere thought that things were getting very real and that these braids really meant straight-forwardly “This hobbit belongs to a king and a skilled artisan”. He heard the both of them chuckle.

“You don’t need to feel so embarrassed, Bilbo,” Thorin said with a loving smile.

“I know, but… you know, us hobbits don’t really show physically to the world that we are married…”

“Then I’m sure they won’t get it, eh?” Bofur asked, a large smile on his face. “What’s important is that we know it matters to us. Ye shouldn’t care about others.”

Bilbo nodded, a smile coming back on his lips as he kissed each one of them. Then Thorin held him a glass so he could see the braids. They were made to fall right before his ears, and were thin and elegant. Bilbo honestly did not think that Thorin and Bofur were capable of such fine art. He was also amazed when looking at the hair rings he was now discovering: Thorin’s was made of mithril, and was covered with dwarvish designs; and Bofur’s was made of a red stone, in which were carved small birds with amazing details.

“Do you like them?”

“If I like them? You… you both made an amazing work and everything, but I really thought the material did not matter and now I just feel stupid and not loving you enough and…”

“Shh, Bilbo. Looka’me.”

Bilbo turned his head towards Bofur, still worried. He was really convinced he should have put more work on his side, at least to deserve them as his lovers.

But Bofur softly kissed him and some of his worries faded away.

“Whatever ye did, it will please us. Because ye did it for us, and it will remind us of ye. Understood?”

“I – I think, but…”

He felt Thorin’s hand on his shoulder and turned his head towards him.

“Why not showing us the ones you made? I’m sure we will love them.”

How could he say no to that smile. Bilbo sighed and took out two wooden rings, which he had carved the best he could to make nice leaf patterns on the outside; the kind of leaves you would find in the Shire only.

“I think they are perfect,” the king said before kissing his hobbit on one cheek.

“But it’s only wood…”

“But it’s something ye can carve and which suits ye,” Bilbo replied with a kiss on his other cheek. “D’ye mind braiding my hair now? I’d like to see how it looks like on a braid.”

Bilbo was never allowed to complain again about his gift to them, and they were eventually able to finish the braiding.

 

~#~

Leaving the mountain was hard. Bilbo finally understood Thorin’s fear of being alone while knowing that his two beloved ones still had each other. He kept on turning his head towards the mountain, focused on the two dwarves standing in front of its doors. While doing so, he could feel the small hair rings bump against his cheeks, which would sometimes make him smile. He hoped he would get used to the weight by the metal and the stone.

“Bilbo Baggins.”

As he caught view of the hobbit’s lost gaze, the wizard smiled and forced Bilbo’s pony to move forward.

“It will take us ages to go back to the Shire if you don’t stop turning around and waving, you know.”

“But they are still…”

“Yes, they are still standing at the doors of the mountain, and they will be as long as we are in sight. Now let us go before Thorin Oakenshield changes his mind and runs after us to fetch you back!”

Bilbo sighed but followed Gandalf’s advice. They had a long way to go, that was true.

He turned one last time, nonetheless.

Or maybe two or three more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: this fic is going to be loooong.  
> Credits to my shipping husband for the wonderful art in the middle! Belongs to Tagath, and his tumblr is here : http://tagathsketch.tumblr.com


	2. Letters

_Dear Thorin, Dear Bofur,_

_It pains me to tell you so, but I will not be able to go back to Erebor._

_My cousin Drogo and his wife Primula drowned in the river last week. They had one son, Frodo. He is much too young to travel with me, and is still shocked by the death of his parents… He needs the Shire and his friends. It would be better for him if I remained here and took care of him._

_I am so sorry._

_Bofur, I would advise you not to leave the mountain. There is no need to come, for I will stick to my decision. You should stay at Thorin’s side. Be happy together._

_I love you both,_

_Bilbo Baggins_

 

* * *

 

 

_My dear, sweet, bare-cheeked and utterly hateable Bilbo,_

_In case you did not read the previous line fully, let me be honest with you: I hate you. No, hold on, I have better: I loathe you. There we go._

_You see, I was quite having the time of my life, flirting around with fellow dwarf women, having fun exploring the whole city with Kili and being bored from time to time by my dear uncle Thorin (always meaning serious business). But then, o surprise! There came your letter! It apparently arrived three months after you send it (the raven got lost) so, guess what? YES! Bofur has already left! O the irony._

_I can let you imagine how awful Thorin has been to me since he read the letter. Yes, to me. Because, guess what again? What was the time of my life suddenly resumed to my uncle teaching me during hours about taking care of a whole kingdom, because His Majesty has decided to leave for the Shire too!_

_I hate you, Bilbo Baggins. My life has become a living hell and I sure did not intend to be regent so early. Oh, by the way, uncle Thorin just left. Be prepared for being dragged here by force. He is in a foul mood. Given his anger I would say he will arrive two months earlier than planned._

_See you soon I suppose,_

_Fili_

_PS: I still hate you a lot._

_PPS: I am deadly serious._

_PPPS: Kili wants to say hi._

_[The next part of the letter is covered in scribbly dwarf runes, probably Kili’s writing.]_

_PPPPS: He insists on me to tell you I was joking, but I assure you that I am not and will not rest until you die of despair._

_PPPPPS: Fine, I was joking._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeh now I can let you know that tons of fluff will happen in Bag-End with babuh Frodo! Thanks for reading!


	3. An unexpected guest

Bilbo Baggins was smoking by the fire in his living-room, a huge book resting on his knees. He wanted to read some minutes ago to find some distraction, but his thoughts and worries were stronger. When he noticed that he had been reading the same line over and over again without grasping its meaning, he let out a sight, closed the book and took his head in his hands. He felt awful when two hair rings bumped against his wrists.

He still had no answer to his letter and worried that it was because both Thorin and Bofur hated him for it. Of course, he knew they were the kind to argue, and that they would have answered. Or at least that Bofur would have answered for both of them. Maybe the letter had been lost? No, the raven he had sent had come back to inform him it had accomplished its duty – however a bit late. How late, Bilbo did not know. And it kept worrying him.

The front door was rapidly opened and closed, and Bilbo lifted his head when he heard quick steps come to him. Before he could even blink, a young hobbit climbed on his knees, and clutched his uncle’s shirt between his fingers.

“Oy, oy, Frodo! Is there something wrong?” A moan answered him, and he sighed, petting the young boy’s hair. “I cannot help you if you do not…”

“There’s a stranger coming here, and he tried to talk to me, and he looked scary and had a weird voice and he was tall, and –”

“Hold on, hold on, not so quick!” Bilbo frowned and tried to force Frodo to loosen his grip a bit. “What did he look like?”

But the child did not have time to answer, for a great knock was heard at the door. Frodo finally let Bilbo go when he realized that his uncle had planned to look and answer.

When the respectable hobbit opened the door, all breath left his lungs.

“G’d afternoon, love.”

He did not know if he jumped or feel in Bofur’s arms, but it did not matter at the moment either, for he was busy kissing him. Only when they parted away the tears began to run over his cheeks, when he noticed how exhausted but happy the dwarf seemed.

“I – I thought I would never see you again?”

Bofur chuckled. “I don’t see why, I was s’pposed to join you after one year, as promised.” With that, he kissed both his hobbit cheeks to make the tears disappear. Bilbo finally chuckled too and tried his best to force him to step back.

“Bofur, there’s much we need to say, but, before all that…”

Bilbo had only intended to take Bofur into the living room when he noticed Frodo hiding behind the door frame, staring at them. _Oh well, that was awkward_. He heard Bofur clear his throat.

“Well hello laddie! Who are –“

“Why were you kissing uncle Bilbo?”

“Weeeeell, ye see, we…erm…”

Bofur shared a look with his husband, not knowing how to finish his sentence. Bilbo flushed and knelt near Frodo.

“Well, you see Frodo, sometiiimes… a respectable hobbit can fall in love with another respectable hobbit…”

“He’s not a hobbit”, the child said with a suspicious frown.

“…or a respectable dwarf”, Bilbo finished with a half-forced smile. “This is Bofur, my… companion.”

“Bofur, at your service”, said the dwarf with a big smile, bowing to Frodo, who finally smiled a bit. Then the small hobbit left his head towards Bilbo.

“Is he going to stay, uncle?”

“Yes, would you be kind and go buy us some bread?”

The child nodded and left the house quickly. Then Bilbo took a deep breath.

“You’ve never got my letter, have you?”

Bofur tilted his head to the side, worried. “Is there something I should know?”

“Yes.” Bilbo snuggled against the dwarf’s chest, curling his arms around his waist. His head lying against the other’s shoulder, he sighed.

“I cannot go back with you.” He felt his grasp tighten.

“Well I still said I would carry ye on me back if I had to, didn’t I?” Bofur’s voice was still happy, but tainted with a bit of sadness. It still made Bilbo smile a bit.

“I know, but I cannot let Frodo here alone.”

And he explained him everything.

 

~#~

 

Meanwhile, far from Bag-End, but not so far away:

“Durin’s beard, _I am lost again_.”

 

~#~

 

A knock on the window. A raven. _With a Letter_. Bilbo let out and exasperated sigh, then looked at Bofur.

“Since you didn’t get my letter in the first place, I suppose it is Thorin’s asking me what is wrong with me and to please send you back because he feels alone”, he said with a smile.

“Knowing him that’d probably be a letter telling ye he’s coming right now”. Bofur was smiling too, smoking his pipe in a chair next to the one Bilbo had just left, as he went to fetch the letter. He looked worry at first, then his eyes widened, then finally he had a small smile, but seemed rather worried still.

“Is there something wrong, love?”

“I – I think Thorin is coming. Apparently he left a few weeks after you.”

“Probably to fetch ye back, and me with ye.”

“I don’t know, he… just read the letter.”

Bofur took the paper Bilbo handed him. It apparently took him more time than the hobbit to read it. Bilbo bit his lip, guessing that his husband was not used to such activity. But the toy-maker smiled again.

“Well, it looks like he plans on living with us as long as yer nephew needs it before draggin’ you back to the mountain.”

A smile grew on his lips.

“Sometimes I forget how stubborn he is.”

They both laughed, and Bilbo sat back at Bofur’s side, taking his hand between his.

“You know, even though I wrote to you and Thorin to forget about me and live your life happily without me… I’m very glad you came.”

Bofur slowly caressed his hobbit’s bare cheeks, a kind smile on his face, before stealing a kiss from his lips.

“I missed ye too, Bilbo.”

They rested against one another for a while, appreciating the almost forgotten tenderness of their bodies touching. After some time, Bilbo finally remembered that he wanted to know something too.

“Oh, by the way, can you read what Kili wrote? I know how to technically read the runes, but it seems like they’re written in Khuzdhul.”

“Aye, it’s Khuzdhul. Very rubbish one.” Bofur smiled and took the letter again. “And he made a mistake in it, too… He says that everything is fine at home, that Fili is grumpy and that ye shouldn’t believe to everything he writes. He also says you should learn Khuzdhul because Ori is teaching him, and – here’s the mistake, I don’t know if he means he likes learning or Ori a lot.”

Bilbo chuckled.

“That’d be nice to know, I heard that Gandalf and Balin had bet about it.”

“Who wouldn’t.”

He pretended to be offended by Bofur’s words and took the opportunity to obtain a kiss as an apology. It felt warm, reassuring, against the dwarf’s lips. All the worries he had accumulated in the past year suddenly faded away, but then he felt that he needed more and deepened the kiss and… and Bofur forced him to part away, eyes fixed on the door frame. _Come on not again._

Frodo blinked at the two adults, his arms full of bread. Bofur tried a large smile.

“Don’t worry chap, respectable hobbits an’ respectable dwarves do that a lot.”

“ _Don’t listen to him we’ll stop I promise._ ”

A great silence.

“I’m hungry, can we eat when you stop kissing?”

 

~#~

 

Frodo grew less and less scared of Bofur over the evening they spent together. The dwarf knew plenty of stories about adventures, about the city of Erebor, and did not miss an opportunity to talk about the night he and twelve other dwarves had come to Bilbo’s hole in the ground. It brightened the mood, and the child loved seeing the toymaker tease his uncle. The only time he had seen him blushing was when he had been asked in town about the braids in his hair and if they had a meaning.

“Master Bofur?”

“Yep, lad?”

“Uncle Bilbo told in town that his braids meant he was friend of the dwarves, but what do yours mean? You’re already a dwarf!”

Bofur glanced towards the kitchen, where Bilbo had gone a few seconds ago. He then smiled and leaned over the table. “Can ye keep a secret, laddie?”

Frodo nodded with enthusiasm.

“The big ones are here because I like them, but the small ones…” He gestured towards the small braids, which fell right in front of his ears too. “They mean I’m in love. So do yer uncle’s.”

“But he didn’t say that to…”

Bofur put a finger on his lips, still smiling. “That’s why it’s a secret, laddie. Don’t ye say that to Bilbo either!”

Frodo smiled happily, imitating the dwarf’s gesture. “I swear I won’t !”

 

When Bilbo came back into the living room, he found his lover and nephew smiling widely at him. He narrowed his eyes.

“Are you two plotting against me?”

“Nah, jus’ planning to have more cake than ye.”

“Don’t even _try_ to trick me,” Bilbo smiled. He put the cake on the table, then sat next to Bofur. He was a bit startled when the dwarf kissed him, but he answered happily to it, before remembering Frodo was probably watching.

Except Frodo had took the opportunity to steal half of the cake and leave the room, chuckling.

“…I knew you were plotting.”

“It’s the price he asked for letting ye and I have some time alone tonight,” Bofur whispered in the hobbit’s ear. Bilbo shivered.

“Can we still have desert before that?” he asked, almost shy.

The toymaker chuckled again and kindly kissed his lover.

“We have all the time in the world, yes.”

 

He had missed everything about Bofur. The way they kissed with more passion once all doors around them were locked. The fact that he loved pulling him in the air only to let himself fall with him on the bed. The fact that he was never shy in everything they were doing together, except when Bilbo would take his hat off. Those were the only times he would see the dwarf blush a bit. He on the contrary would blush all the time from the moment he knew what was going to happen. Bofur and Thorin liked that about him, apparently. But he felt he should have been less shy over the time. As a consequence, taking off Bofur’s hat and grabbing Thorin by the braids were his own personal vengeance.

Another thing he had missed about Bofur were these moments when they would rest a bit in bed, one against the other, and when the dwarf would allow him to undo his two large braids. He loved running his fingers through the long, wavy dark hair. To hear Bofur sigh to the touch, eyes closed, and a smile on his lips.

It would have felt like good old times if Thorin had been there, behind his own back, one arm around Bofur and him while he would have laid soft kisses over his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If everything goes well I'll update at least one chapter per week! I was pretty busy last week, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!


	4. Life in Bag-End

They were both sitting on Bilbo’s small garden bench, his favourite seat to enjoy his smoking in the morning. Although it was early, they could already feel the sun warm them. Frodo had just left the house, telling them he was to play with some friends and would probably not come back for the second breakfast, since Sam’s mom was doing pancakes.

“Good day, ain’t it?”

Bilbo chuckled and lit up the tobacco in his pipe. “You know, the day you all arrived at my place, I actually greeted Gandalf by a nice ‘good day’, and instead of telling me thirteen dwarves were to come at my place, he scolded me for being nice. How polite was that from him!”

The dwarf laughed too, cheerily. Bilbo loved that smile, and the little wrinkles it made on his lover’s face, more than anything in the world.

“By th’way, I don’t think we’ve eat’n that well since we were here. And I still think ye’ve got way too much food for someone as little as ye.”

Bilbo mumbled something about dwarves who never took the time for a second breakfast, an afternoon snack or a supper, but was interrupted as Bofur’s lips came to softly caress his. Only caress, yes, because he immediately forced the dwarf to back off, his cheek bright red. Bofur arched a brow, waiting for an explanation.

“We’re _outside_!” the hobbit said, gesturing towards all of Bag-End at once.

“Oh come on Bilbo, there’s nobody out at that hour!”

“And your tobacco _stinks_ ”, mumbled he.

Bofur smirked and looked away. “You gotta get used to the fact that ev’rybody doesn’t like _your_ sweet weed _either_.”

The ex-burglar sighed and looked all around them to make sure nobody was coming, before leaning towards Bofur and stealing a proper kiss from his lips. “There, are you happy now?”

“Oh yes,” the dwarf whispered to his ear, as he slowly took his hand in his. Bilbo blushed and kindly pushed him away.

And he was glad he did so, for they saw a hobbit walking by. The stranger greeted Bilbo, but then stared at Bofur curiously. The toymaker smiled, and nodded at him, wishing him a good day too, but the stranger kept staring. His eyes went from Bofur, Bilbo, then somewhere slightly between them.

Bilbo was the first to understand and hurriedly let go Bofur’s hand, and made an awkward comment on the weather to the fellow hobbit. Said hobbit did not answer, frowning, and left quickly. Bilbo put a hand on his eyes.

“And now we’re off for at least five years of gossiping.”

 

When Bilbo explained to Bofur that any tiny detail – for example the gender and number of his lovers – could be repeated in the whole Shire in a small amount of time, and have an impact of all his relatives, the dwarf promised him he would never show him physically his love in public, except maybe in front of Frodo.

“I’m ‘kay with that, but I think it’ll be way harder for Thorin. We’ll have to hide to yer nephew that he, you and I… well, that we’re all three in love.”

Bilbo sighed deeply. Thorin was without a doubt the most impatient of them, and that would not make things easy at all. He always wanted, _needed_ physical contact, and would probably not bear to contain himself, even in Bilbo’s hobbit hole, for they did not want Frodo to learn about it. This was not going to be easy _at all_.

He lifted his head when Bofur laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him with a smile. “C’mon, didn’t ye want to show me the shops ye’ve got there?”

“Yes, you’re right. And we need to buy some food, I don’t mean any offense but you dwarves have a worrying appetite.”

“We jus’ eat more in one meal, rather than eating all day long.”

Mumbling a bit, Bilbo finally stood up, and together they went down the hill.

 

Going down the hill had been a bad idea. Bilbo could feel that everyone looked suspiciously at Bofur, and frowned particularly at everything that made him different, alien to them, such as his height, his clothes, his boots, his long braided hair, his facial hair. Bilbo had to do his best not to scream out of anger or to hide due to shame, hopping that his lover and he would be forgotten forever. As he was focused on these thoughts, it took him some time to notice that Bofur had stopped walking. The hobbit arched a brow, a bemused smile growing on his lips when he turned around.

“And what exactly is that you’re doing?”

“Trying to look hobbit-like!” The dwarf answered with a large smile, convinced he just had one of the most brilliant ideas in the world. He however seemed to regret it when he had to awkwardly jump from one feet to the other to join Bilbo, who tried his best not to laugh at him.

“You look ridiculous.”

“Thanks,” the dwarf answered. He stepped towards the hobbit, planning to kiss him with a smile, but he remembered early enough that people were watching them and that he had to behave and make sure nobody will notice them.

But how do you not notice a bare-feet dwarf, trousers hitched up, and with a pair of boots in his hands, trying his best to walk without wincing each time his foot lands on a stone?

“Look at you, you’ve got baby feet,” said Bilbo with a mocking smile. “Put your boots back on, you’re ridiculous and people are watching.”

“Well at least _this time_ I’ll give them a reason for staring!”

And on this, the dwarf began to cheerfully greet every single hobbit they met, compared their feet, and did so while being fully aware of his foolishness.

Bilbo had never laughed so much in front of his neighbours in a day, or even in his entire life. He was even surprised by the fact that some of them had begun to find Bofur funny and interesting for who he was, and the stories he told about adventures, precious stones and jewels. They were even invited by plenty of hobbit, whom he barely knew, to come on any day they wanted and have tea with them. Bofur’s grotesque attempt at fitting in must have pleased them just as much as it had made them laugh.

This all lasted until the moment when Bofur smiled widely at Bilbo, looking both proud of himself and reassured, for the hobbit did not think even a second before he leaned and kissed the dwarf, still half-laughing. Oddly, that’s the moment when everybody stopped inviting them or even talking to them. Maybe because Bofur had tried to explain to them that this was all normal and completely okay because they were _married_ , after all. It may have been too many details for them.

But Bilbo did not complain about it in the end, thinking that after all, people had begun to stare at him and whisper about him since he had returned from Erebor. And apparently being able to kiss him in public without breaking any promise made Bofur happy.

Things were going to be extremely hard for Thorin, though.

 

~#~

Meanwhile, in Rivendell, Elrond was asking his servants taking care of the evening meal to take into account that there would be a dwarf with them and that there should be meat. When they answered him awkwardly that Thorin Oakenshield had left right after he had arrived, the lord smiled.

“It was the fourth time he has come here today and refused the map I offered him when I heard he had lost his. Believe me, we will see him again earlier than expected.”

Thorin indeed came back two hours later, and finally agreed to take “this stupid elvish map” and to eat with them, for it had been “so kindly proposed”.

 

~#~

 

Bilbo blinked twice, still holding his tea cup. They had just finished eating the afternoon snack, and Bofur was now sitting in the armchair by the fire, and was braiding Frodo’s hair.

“Cultural exchange!” explained the dwarf with a large smile.

“Master Bofur is turning me into a dwarf, and then I tell him secrets”, whispered Frodon, who was smiling too.

The former burglar smiled too, but looked a bit worried. “And what are those secrets about?”

“Oh ye know, about some respectable hobbit that might be living here.” Bofur winked.

“… Don’t you tell me you’re plotting against me _again._ ”

Both the dwarf and the child laughed cheerfully at this. Bilbo sighed and sat down on his own armchair. He looked at them for a moment, until Bofur had made a dozen of braids in the young hobbit’s hair.

“I’m still amazed when I remember that Thorin and you can do such a fine work, even with those huge hands.”

Bofur chuckled, and was about to answer something when he was interrupted by Frodo: “Who is Thorin, uncle?”

Ah. He shared a look with his lover. They still had not agreed on a way to talk about Thorin to others, including Frodo, who might come to see the dwarf quietly joining them in Bilbo’s room at night in a near future.

“Heeee’s the king of dwarves,” Bofur began.

“And a really really great friend of ours.”

“Really great friend, yes.”

Frodo blinked. “And all your friends, are they going to come here one day?”

“Well, Thorin will surely come, soon I guess…”

“And what does he look like? Does he have a beard like master Bofur? Because I love it, it’s really funny!” Frodo smiled widely and caught one side of Bofur’s moustache in his hand. The dwarf made funny faces to make his moustache move, and make the child laugh.

They told Frodo that unfortunately, Thorin was not the kind to act funny around people, and that his beard was not funny either, but rather cool. Then they kept going on about how nice he himself was, how he would do anything for his people, then talked about their journey together, about all the times he had saved Bilbo’s life, and about the times Bilbo had saved theirs and Thorin’s. When the child said that it was almost like they were in love, they laughed nervously and said out loud that geez, it was time for them to prepare diner and that he should maybe go out and play with his friends instead of saying such silly things.

 

“Do you think we’ll manage to do anything when Thorin comes here?” Bilbo asked, curled against Bofur on their bed. Well, on _his_ bed technically.

Bofur sighed, letting his lover undo his large braids to run his fingers into his hair. “I dunno,” he finally answered. “I’m bit afraid ‘bout his reaction. Ye know he’s not the kind to bear pretending nothing is going on between us in public.”

Bilbo tried his best not to chuckle at this. “Oh yes, I remember us being used to notice every dark corner in which he could kiss the both of us without us being seen. I’m even wondering how you two managed to keep your relationship hidden for a year!”

If he was expecting to see the dwarf smile or laugh at this, the hobbit was surprised to find him biting his lower lip, and looking slightly embarrassed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“We… we actually didn’t keep it secret. Thorin could not stand it anymore, and you being away he needed more and more affection from me, so… so _now_ I’m his official consort.”

That shut Bilbo up for a while. The more he could do was to aimlessly open and close his mouth in shock, over and over again.

“You… _what_.”

“We still love ye! We really do! I mean, I love ye and Thorin kept telling me how much he missed ye too, even if he was happy to always have me by his side in public!”

Bofur now seemed embarrassed and anxious at the same time. “Please don’t tell me ye’re angry, we jus’ really missed ye and it sounded like a nice idea an’all… And Thorin told me he’d find a way for ye to be able to stick with us all the time!”

But Bilbo just chuckled has he softly caressed his lover’s hair and cheek. “You know, it’s rather rare for me to see you blushing with your hat still on. You do look adorable like this.”

If those words made the dwarf laugh, he rolled his eyes nonetheless. “Looka me now, I’m being told by the always-blushing master Baggins that I look cute in red. How silly is that.”

He laughed again when the hobbit playfully pushed him.

“But now at least _I_ know how to make you blush. I guess I just need to mention the fact that Thorin and you are now a lovey-dovey married couple…”

“Hey hold on, dwarf courting takes ages, we’re not even officially engaged yet!”

“Red _does_ look good on you.”

“I’m not red, this is nonsense.”

“But you _are_ , master Bofur. Now tell me about everything else that you did together while I was away.”

“Okay now I do feel red, let’s stop this conversation there.”

Bilbo leaned forward to whisper to Bofur’s ear: “And has he found you a better nickname yet?”

“ _You’re not being fair at all!_ ” Yep. Given the amount of blushing now on Bofur’s face and how insistently he tried to hide under his hat, Bilbo knew he had guessed right.

“Sooo, what is it he’s calling you then,” he said smiling, as the dwarf turned his back on him. “Oh come ooon.”

There was a silence for a while, during which Bilbo caressed Bofur’s ears from under his hat, knowing it to be his weak spot. The dwarf finally moaned and turned back towards him.

“I’m listening,” said the hobbit with a bright smile. The toymaker sighed.

“ _Fine_. He talks to me in Khuzdul since you’ve left, so I cannot translate it properly, but he basically calls me his most precious gem. Ye happy now, _baby cheeks_?”

Bilbo lost his smile. “Hey that’s not fair, your nickname is cuter than mine now!”

“Well if ye apologize for the trouble you caused me and if ye kiss me now, maybe I’ll try to convince him to change yours.”

The Halfling always burst into laugh whenever Bofur wiggled his eyebrows, and this time was no exception.

 

Bofur opened his eyes when he heard small knocks on the bedroom door. He looked at Bilbo who was still sleeping against him. The knocks began again, louder. The dwarf woke up and walked towards the door, which he opened to discover Frodo wrapped in his blanket, shivering. He instantly smiled and kneeled in front of the child.

“Is there something wrong, lad?”

Frodo hesitated but nodded.

“There is too much wind outside, it’s moaning over the house. I’m scared the roof will fall on my head.”

“The roof won’t fall on your head, Frodo.”

“I know, but I cannot sleep! Uncle… Uncle Bilbo usually tells me stories when I’m scared. Is he awake?”

Bofur glanced towards the bed, but his lover was still sleeping. But he went back on his feet and went out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“Your uncle is fast asleep, but I’m not and I don’t have anything against telling you some stories for tonight, if you’d like,” he said with a smile, handing his arms to Frodo, who climbed on him.

He took the child to his room and laid him back in his bed, and made his best to lighten his mood. At first he was handed a book, but remembering how bad he was at reading, he offered to tell Frodo some of the best dwarf legends and children stories he knew. He loved the stories the toymaker told him. He shivered when the dwarf protagonists were in danger, laughed many times when Bofur allowed himself to comment this or that aspect of a story. And when he was almost asleep, his eyes closed, he whispered softly: “Master Bofur?”

“Aye, laddie?” the dwarf answered, a grin still on his lips.

“Can I call you uncle Bofur?”

… Well if he was prepared to this. The toymaker remained silent for a while, but finally shrugged, his smile back.

“If it pleases you, you can.”

Frodo smiled and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you all again for the kudos and the kind comments :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!  
> (And all my apologies again since English is not my first language)


	5. The unexpected monster

Bilbo was very busy that day. Some of his Took cousins had come to visit him, half un-announced – he had invited them to come whenever they wanted some while ago, but had not expected them to not even bother telling him _when_. How lucky he was to have his pantry as full as the night when Gandalf and thirteen dwarves had come without any warning! But all his guests were requiring a lot of his attention this time. He was glad he had Bofur with him to help him and entertain the guests so he could rest a bit. He of course blushed many times when he was yelled some compliments about having chosen Bofur for a lover, but his smile never faded away. Autumn was closing in, but it was a wonderful day anyway.

 

That thought was not shared by Thorin Oakenshield, king under the mountain, who was seriously worrying about his ability to find Bag-End, in spite of the map Elrond had given him and of some suspicious hobbits’ advice. All these roads and hills looked alike, and it had probably been hours since he last saw a sign.

Last but not least, it had begun to rain.

If he did not find Bilbo’s house by the end of the day, he might try to murder someone. Anyone. But fortunately for him, he finally came across a small sign, and a smile grew on his lips as he read “Bag-End” written on it. Finally.

He walked faster from this moment on, and did not need to ask for his way this time. Getting lost the first time he had come here had taught him what Bilbo’s house looked like.

And there it was, the green rounded door, just as he remembered it. He sighed, relieved, then knocked.

 

“I’ll get the door!” Frodo laughed as he ran towards the entrance. But when he opened, he saw a tall giant in front of him, wearing anything but dark clothes and fur, and with dark hair stuck to his face. The stranger was all wet, seemed overwhelmingly heavy, and had bright blues eyes. When the monster laid his eyes on him, he frowned, and opened his mouth as if to say something. Frodo screamed and shut the door.

 

Thorin – for it was him – swore in Khuzdul while rubbing his nose. He came to the conclusion that it was either the wrong house, or he had just met Bilbo’s nephew, whom he had mentioned in his letter. In any way, he had to talk to his lover about the child’s education and his lack of manners. He was about to knock again, angrily, when he noticed the door was not locked.

He hesitated but finally entered. And he did not regret it in any way, smiling widely when he caught sight of Bilbo’s back in the kitchen. He took his entire package off and walked towards his hobbit.

 

Bofur was surprised when a young hobbit bumped into his legs. “Oy, oy, Frodo, what’s going on?”

The child moaned against him, still afraid, his fists clenching on the fabric of his trousers.

“Uncle Bofur, there’s a monster at the door!”

“A monster? And what did he look like, laddie?”

“He was ‘bit like you, but taller, and meanier, and bigger, and larger, and he had this black beard, and those scary eyes!”

The dwarf did not move at first, wondering if he should worry or hope with all his heart that it could be Thorin. He hugged Frodo and promised him he would get the monster out if a monster he was, and asked one of Bilbo’s cousins to look after him. He then headed towards the front door.

Whether it had been Thorin or not, the stranger had come in, and had let his bags there. And the water he had left on the floor would probably help the dwarf to find him.

 

When Bilbo turned around, he almost dropped the plate he was drying. He however tossed it on the table and was about to pronounce Thorin’s name in disbelief, when the dwarf’s lips laid on his, for a kiss both tender and passionate. He felt himself blush up to the ears, partly because he was not prepared for this, and because the king was holding him close against him, rather possessively. Bilbo shivered when he noticed how cold and wet the other’s lips were.

 

The whole picture would have been rather cute if there had not been a tiny disturbing detail to it. Bofur bit his lower lip and told himself he had to do something, when he shook Thorin’s arm.

“Erm, Thorin?”

With this Thorin opened his eyes again and let Bilbo go. The hobbit took a deep breath, feeling dizzy (maybe because a considerable amount of blood had flushed to his face).

The king was smiling widely. “It’s been a while, Bofur… I bet you want your reunion kiss too.”

Before the toymaker was able to protest, Thorin was kissing him, his hunger showing how much he had missed him, even if it had been a year only. And while Bofur was trying his best to break the kiss and make him understand that really, no, Thorin should stop right now, Bilbo finally understood why his own greeting kiss had been interrupted.

Behind the doorframe stood his cousins, their mouths opened.

He had trouble later to make them believe that this nice saliva exchange was merely a sign of great friendship in dwarf society. Maybe because Thorin did not want to help him at all and kept mumbling he would be glad if they left because he had more kissing to do.

 

Finally closing the door behind his guests, Bilbo sighed then frowned as he turned back towards Thorin, keeping him away from him when the king tried to kiss him again.

“Thorin, I love you and I’m sorry, but we need to talk and we need to do it now.” Thorin frowned back but let his lover take him to the living room, where Bofur was happily talking to Frodo. The child turned his head towards them when he heard the king’s metallic limb cling through his boot each time he laid it on the floor. He quickly hid behind the toymaker.

“Uncle Bofur, you lied, the monster’s back!”

Thorin clenched his fists. “Your nephew lacks of politeness, Bilbo. Or is it also yours now”, he said, frowning at Bofur.

“Look, Thorin, ye…”

“I see you’ve all become a happy family in which I am clearly not needed anymore. Maybe I should leave you all now and everyone would be happier.”

Bilbo slapped him on the arm. Thorin frowned at him again, but it did not prevent the hobbit from frowning back with his most authoritative look.

“You will stop ranting in my house this instant. Now take all your bags, Bofur will show you your room, I’ll talk to Frodo and then to you, _and don’t even try to interrupt me, I’m not finished_ , and if you talk again about leaving this house, just remember that I’ll chase you down before you even get the chance to get lost. Now, go. Both of you,” he finished, turning to Bofur, who slowly nodded and got up.

“Come on, Thorin, I’ll show ye,” the dwarf said in a soft voice, taking his lover’s hand in his. And although the king seemed confused by Bilbo’s orders, he followed.

 

“Has Bilbo changed that much since he’d been back there?” Thorin grumbled, settling on the guestroom bed.

“Not at all.” Bofur closed the door and sat next to his beloved, whom he kissed, before adding: “He’s just really nervous ‘bout this whole reputation thing.”

Thorin frowned again. “Tell me more.”

“Apparently hobbits, ‘specially in Bag-End, are obsessed with gossiping, and well, Bilbo is afraid that him having a bad reputation would do harm to Frodo, and he fears that learning he has two lovers would traumatize him too or something.”

“Traumatize.”

“Aye. And I guess he’s bit afraid of you too, so we’ll have to work on that too. Don’t feel offended, I mean, I’m the first dwarf he’s ever seen, and ye’re jus’ taller and apparently yer leg makes a lot of noise too. It’s gonna be hard to sleep together at night, but we’ll manage, don’t ye worry,” he said with a wink.

Thorin snorted and pulled him closer.

“I sure hope Bilbo will have forgiven me by then.”

“I’ll make sure of that.”

 

There was something Bilbo could only get jealous at, and it was seeing his two lovers together. Of course their love story truly worked when they were the three of them, but when alone with only one of their lovers, things were a bit different. Bilbo and Thorin alone were a bit rougher in their relationship, and Thorin would not hesitate to grab him by the hips and throw him on a bed, exchange passionate kisses and make him love without proper warnings. He was more tender with Bofur, and, well, they seemed to act like an old married couple, keeping intimate what was intimate, and did not go further than kissing when they were not in a locked room. But their tenderness could not match Thorin and Bofur’s. Usually, Thorin would hold the toymaker’s hand gently, and caress its back with his thumb. Then, with his other hand, he would caress his cheek, his beard, and maybe occasionally kiss him. They could love each other with their eyes. They never did that with him.

“There you are,” Thorin said, as he let go Bofur’s hand. The toymaker had apparently succeeded in calming him down.

Bilbo came to sit between the two of them, since they had made space for him. He sighed and leaned against Thorin.

“I didn’t mean to sound rude earlier, but we really need to talk about what happened since I left and since Bofur arrived there.”

The king nodded, and he and Bofur told him how sad they had been when he had left. They talked about the time when Balin had told them the whole mountain was whispering about having seen them holding hands in public and how improper it was. About their official courting which had settled everything, about the fact that it was officially too early for them to sleep together so they had to make sure there were no guards around their rooms at night – Thorin got slightly offended when Bilbo laughed as he told him about that one night his sister Dis had caught him opening Bofur’s door and had led him back to his room, pulling him by the ear. Then both Bofur and he learned about Fili’s quick learning to become regent, and how much he had seemed to dislike it – they all laughed at it, even Thorin – and finally that terrible journey Thorin had to go through. Bilbo and Bofur then told him about what had happened in Bag-End, and why Frodo called Bofur uncle.

“I now understand a lot more,” Thorin said. “I even understand why Bofur is dressed as a hobbit now, though I do not approve.”

Bofur chuckled. He was wearing rolled up pants, a white shirt with braces, and no shoes of course. But he fortunately still had his hat on.

“I did it for fun in the first place, but Frodo told me I scared him less like this, so now I’m doing it ev’ry day.”

Thorin frowned and looked at Bilbo. “I do hope you’re not planning on imposing this to me.”

The hobbit snorted. “If there’s one thing I’d like to impose you right now, Thorin Oakenshield, that’s a bath.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well if I may, Thorin, I’d really like ye to take a bath too actually, ye really smell like ye didn’t have one for weeks.”

Thorin grumbled at this and kept protesting when Bilbo took him to the bathroom, but a kiss settled it all.

 

They were all tense during diner. Frodo would not eat and kept glaring at Thorin, while the king, mature enough, would do the same. Sitting one in front of the other, Bofur and Bilbo exchanged a look and sighed.

“Well,” Bofur began, “maybe we should try this again from the beginning. Heeeey Frodo, here’s Thorin, our great great friend we talked about, d’ye remember? The king?”

Frodo turned his head towards Bofur. “You said he was really pretty and cool and nice and a real dwarf, but I think he just looks scary.”

Thorin arched a brow, a smile finally growing on his lips. It encouraged Bofur, who smiled back and nodded to Frodo.

“Dwarves and hobbits are really not the same, ye know. Normally pretty dwarves are more like Thorin, and funny dwarves are more like me!”

The child laughed when Bofur wiggled his eyebrows. Well, in fact they all laughed when he did so – though Thorin was more quiet.

“Now… Thorin, let me introduce ye to the sweetest of all nephews, burglar apprentice – he’s very good at it when cake is involved! – and the smallest hobbit I’ve ever seen!”

“I’m not that small!” Frodo protested as he pushed Bofur’s arm, still smiling.

Then Bofur stared at Thorin, as if he expected something. The king seemed to understand and put his hand over the table, towards Frodo. Although the child seemed scared by the move at first, he then looked curiously at the tall dwarf.

“Frodo Baggins, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

Frodo shyly shook the big dwarf’s hand (or rather the tip of his fingers), then smiled at Bofur. “You were right, he does talk like a king from an old fairy tale!”

Bilbo and Bofur chuckled at Thorin’s slightly offended look.

“I am not old.”

“That’s not what was implied, but you do speak in a rather old fashion sometimes,” Bilbo smiled.

The king looked shocked, then pointed at Bofur.

“He looks older than me!”

“Technically _ye_ ’re older than me in age,” the toymaker said with a smile.

They kept arguing cheerfully for a while. Frodo and Thorin were still not the best friends in the world, and the child did not trust him yet, but things were getting better.

 

Thorin looked at the time. Frodo should have fallen asleep about thirty minutes ago, and he could not wait longer. It was time for him to join his lovers in Bilbo’s bedroom. A smile grew on his lips as he went out of his room. He winced when he heard the familiar metallic sound of his left leg, and walked slowly, in hope it would not wake Frodo up. He was almost at the bedroom’s door. Only three more meters and…

He heard Frodo scream.

Not knowing what to do, he jumped towards Bilbo’s bedroom door, which opened with force and crashed on his nose.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry! Bofur go check Frodo’s room!” Bilbo said as he came closer to the king. Thorin was holding his nose between his hands, a bit of blood apparently dripping from it.

“I did not know something as small as you could be so strong,” the king said with a nose-y voice. “Nor did I know it was a habit in the Baggins family to slam doors,” he finished with a smile.

Bilbo sighed in relief when he noticed the bleeding was not alarming. “Come, and sit on the bed – I’ll see Frodo too.”

The king nodded and went inside Bilbo’s bedroom, still massaging his nose. When he felt less pain, he took off his pants, and undid the leather strips tying his metal limb to his thigh and hip, and sighed in relief. He was not able to remove it for the night when he was travelling, and the last part of his journey had been rather painful, since he had to leave his pony in Bree – the poor creature was too exhausted and did not want to move anymore.

Bilbo and Bofur came back shortly later, when he had already taken most of his clothes off. They smiled and helped him settle in the middle of the bed, and lied down next to him: Bilbo on his right, Bofur on his left.

“What was the matter with your nephew?” Thorin asked, stroking Bilbo’s curly hair.

“He heard you walk, actually, and was convinced there was a metal giant coming to eat him.” Bilbo allowed himself a smile, which he lost rather quickly. “It’s going to be difficult for us to gather at night.”

“We should get ye a stick to walk without yer leg,” Bofur added. “I think it’d make less noise.”

“I don’t need a cane,” Thorin said, rolling his eyes. “I can properly walk without any.”

“Ye can walk, but ye cannot be quiet…”

Thorin grumbled and there was silence for a while.

“We should take advantage of our time together,” Bilbo offered with a soft smile. “You’re here now, we’ll look for another way for you to join us tomorrow when we wake up.”

The king smiled and leaned to kiss him. Bilbo was right. They had two years of their relationship to catch up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments!


	6. Snow, Cold, and Pancakes

As a toymaker, Bofur had crafted a small flute for Frodo, which would be the solution to all their problems. He taught the child some magic air that was supposed to repel any monster coming near his door at night. It would help him forget is fears, and it would tell _Thorin_ when the noise coming from his leg was too loud and when it was time for him to use that “old damn wooden stick” to reach Bilbo and Bofur’s bedroom in silence.

Everything went well for a few months, until that very night when shy knocks could be heard shortly after Thorin had joined them in bed. All three adults shared a look, then Bilbo got up and went to open the door, trying his best to hide that he was wearing nothing but his underwear at that point.

There stood Frodo in front of him, all cuddled up in his blankets. He was holding his flute tight in his hands, and his eyes were red. “I’ve been having nightmares, uncle Bilbo… can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Well, err…” Bilbo turned his head towards a half-naked Bofur, but more especially towards a half-naked Thorin, who was not even supposed to be there in the first place. “Juuust wait two or three minutes, I need to put my dressing-gown on.”

Although he did not seem pleased at all by the idea of staying alone two or three more minutes, Frodo did not have any saying in the matter, for his uncle had closed the door right in front of him. According to the noises he could hear, Bilbo was probably looking for his dressing-gown almost everywhere in his bedroom. What he did not know what that his uncle was actually trying to get Thorin through his bedroom window, with Bofur’s help. When they managed to finally get him through, Bofur was out too, as they had needed him to pull the giant dwarf out. And then the knocks came back, quicker and louder. The toymaker smiled to Bilbo, who was suddenly panicking.

“The front door must be still open, I guess. Don’t ye worry, we’ll just walk around, I’ll sleep with Thorin for the night, and we’ll pretend nothing ever happened tomorrow morning,” he finished with a wink.

Bilbo smiled, finally relieved, and thanked Bofur before he closed the window, hid their clothes under the bed and opened the door to Frodo again.

“I sure hope that the door is open, we’d look quite silly if we remained locked outside,” said Thorin with a smile.

“Two half-naked dwarves sleeping in front of Bilbo Baggins’ door, _that_ sure would make the hobbits talk for more than a decade!”

They both cheerfully laughed, then Thorin put his arm around Bofur’s neck, so the smaller dwarf could help him walk in spite of his missing limb.

“Ye know, it reminds me of that one time when yer sister had ye locked up in a cupboard because she was afraid you’d want to have me before our marriage. I had to help you walk all the way back to yer room!”

“I thought we agreed on the fact that the most humiliating moments of my life were to be forgotten.”

Bofur laughed again, and gave the front door a slight push.

And the door did not move. Frowning a bit, he pushed it harder, but it did not move either. Thorin even helped him the best he could the following times they tried. But it did not matter: the door was locked. Thorin turned his head towards his beloved, looking worried.

“Run to the bedroom door and go tell Bilbo, I don’t want to spend the whole night outside _and_ half-naked.” Bofur nodded and ran. But he came back way too fast, and looking way too worried.

“I think Frodo asked Bilbo to come with him in his room, and he doesn’t hear anything when I knock at the windows. And of course there’s none to Frodo’s bedroom.”

They remained quiet for a moment, both sitting in front of the door, and shivering. Thorin finally curled an arm around him, and pulled him closer.

“The best we can do is keep each other warm, I guess.”

Bofur curled up against him, holding back a smile. “Well we could still go and knock at his neighbours’ doors, ye know.”

Thorin laughed. “Everybody already frowns when looking at me, I’m afraid that waking them up in the middle of the night with you half-naked by my side would scare them to death!”

They both laughed again, and Bofur laid his head rest on his lover’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure Bilbo will read him his story, and then make sure we’re home.”

“I do hope he will, missing him for two years was already too much, and I still have a lot of frustration to compensate for.”

“Thorin Oakenshield, I do hope you’re not having improper thoughts about or burglar!”

They both laughed again, but Thorin’s smile soon faded away. “I don’t know if he ever realised how hard it had been for me, being away from him. Of course _he_ had a lot to take care of, and probably not enough time to even think about it…”

He turned his head towards Bofur when he felt his hand softly caressing his cheek.

“Ye know, he didn’t bear being away from ye either, Thorin. And ye know what, tomorrow evening I’ll take care of Frodo so you two will have some free time and a romantic evening,” Bofur said with a wink.

The king smiled kindly. “You’d really do that for us?”

“Well, why not? I like spending time with Frodo, ‘fter all. But I do expect you both to take real good care of me the following night !”

“Of course we will.” They kissed, both smiling.

“Hey look, it’s snowin’.”

“Bilbo sure needs to hurry, now,” Thorin grumbled.

 

 

Bilbo opened his eyes and mumbled, passing a hand over his face. So apparently he had fallen asleep on Frodo’s bed, while reading him a story. He smiled when he saw the child curled up against him, then yawned, and stood up. He let out a pained moan when he stretched. _Never fall asleep half-sitting again_ , he promised himself.

He went out of the room, and put water to warm over the fire for his morning tea. Then wondered if the milkman had already come this morning, and opened the front door.

He yelped when two dwarves’ heads fell on both his slippers. One of the said dwarves groaned and the other sneezed. His eyes widened.

“Thorin? Bofur? Did you… Did you spend the whole night _outside_?” he finished in horror.

“Oh nay, we were jus’ feeling too warm this morning so we went outside to breathe some fresh morning air!” Bofur answered sarcastically, his voice sounding nose-y.

Thorin coughed a lot when he tried his best to crawl inside. “I’ll give up my _crown_ for a blanket”, he mumbled. His voice was dry.

Panicked, Bilbo helped them to stand up the best he could, and led them to Thorin’s bedroom, the closest one around.

“But why didn’t you tell me that…”

The moment he lifted the blankets, Thorin let himself fall on the bed, shivering. Bofur patted Bilbo on his lips, whispering a “shhh”, then fell by the other dwarf’s side.

“Blanket, Bilbo,” asked Thorin with a tired voice.

The hobbit blinked stupidly, then put the blanket back up.

And then the two dwarves sighed, sneezed, coughed, and began snoring loud.

 

Bilbo did not eat any breakfast. Nor second breakfast. Nor lunch. He was far too worried and feeling way too guilty to eat anything, and that was something. He had put hot water bottles in the bed to try and warm his sick lovers, and was now ready to jump by their side with hot tea and milk the moment they would wake up.

How could he have fallen asleep without checking they had been able to go back inside?

He kept hitting any wall, table or door with his forehead, calling himself an idiot. Even Frodo did not dare asking what was wrong, quickly leaving the house to play outside.

Thorin was the first one to wake up, in the beginning of the afternoon. And he forced a smile, seeing that Bilbo was sitting right next to the bed, looking awfully worried.

“I’m so sorry,” the hobbit whispered, shyly taking the king’s hand into his.

“You sure can be,” Thorin briefly answered with his husky voice. “Pretty sure we’re both deadly sick,” he managed to add before coughing a lot.

Bilbo bit on his lower lip, and held Thorin’s hand tight in his own, bringing it to his forehead. “I’m so… so sorry… I don’t deserve you now, do I?”

Coughing one last time, Thorin rolled his eyes. “Even if I’ll need some time to heal and forgive you about all this, I still love you, and so does Bofur.”

“Is that true?” Bilbo asked shyly.

“Yes. Now get yourself useful, I need something to eat and a warm bath would be more than welcome.”

“As polite as ever,” Bilbo commented. But he added nothing more, worried by the glare Thorin gave him. It was the glare he would give him during their quest, the “I hate you so much and you’re so much of a burden right now” glare.

He was not sure he would bear it if Thorin and Bofur came to hate him.

 

They did not hate him, of course. As Thorin had promised him, they still loved him both.

They were just awfully grumpy, as he himself explained to Frodo later.

Thorin was the quiet type; talking was causing a terrible pain in his throat, and he only opened his mouth to order the hobbit around. Bofur, on the other side, was being overwhelmingly sarcastic. He was fortunately aware of it, sometimes finishing his sentences by a comment on his own funny duck voice to ease Bilbo, but never mentioned being mad at him. Only Thorin had made it clear.

Maybe that was why Bilbo was feeling awkward around him and took more care of Bofur, in the end.

 

There was one thing Thorin was sure of, and which pained him: Bilbo seemed to love Bofur the most. Otherwise, why would he spend so much time taking care of him, even if the toymaker had asked him several times to stop nursing him? Thorin had done the same, and yet the hobbit only brought him hot tea with honey. And not as often as he would wish to, though Thorin would never admit it. Tea was mere water with a taste. Nothing to do with ale.

Why did not Bilbo give him ale.

He sighed, putting his arms back under the blanket he was sharing with Bofur. His beloved was asleep, and snorted from time to time due to his full nose. It took Thorin a lot not to wake him up just to let him know that he too was trying to have a nap.

There were three light knocks on the door, then Frodo entered the room with two cups of hot tea. Thorin arched a brow.

“Your uncle isn’t there?”

Frodo bit his lips and set the cups on the bed table.

“He’s out buying things for dinner. He said you’ll both need to regain your strength.”

Thorin grumbled something, and the child did not know if he was to stay or not. But he eventually left and carefully closed the door behind him.

 

The day after that, Bofur was almost healed, and took the opportunity to wake up and help Bilbo with all the daily chores. Thorin, grumpy as ever, was forced to stay in bed because of a so called “fever”.

Damn fevers, he thought to himself while coughing hard. He was not _sick_. Sickness was for weak creatures, such as _elves_ …

Well, maybe he was a bit sick, for with all his coughing he had not heard Frodo entering the room before he felt a cold and moist piece of fabric being laid over his forehead. He glanced at the child, but coughed again. Why was he even staring at him, did he _enjoy_ seeing him in such a pitiful state?

Frodo sat on the bed, mixing medicine to the tea he was bringing Thorin. And he began mumbling, apparently.

Except that he was singing, really low. He had to close his eyes to properly understand what he was saying.

It was the misty mountain’s song. The one he sang here, inside these very walls, some years ago. Well, not exactly, the song seemed longer, and more about someone… going on this expedition with them?

“Who taught you that song, child?”

Frodo blushed, and handed him his tea.

“That’s uncle’s Bilbo song when nothing goes well, and when he is sad. He is very upset about you being sick, so I thought that if I started singing it, you’d get well?”

A warm smile grew on the king’s lips.

“You’re right, that’s some magic song. Teach it to me, lad.”

“My name’s Frodo, you know.”

“Aye. Then teach it to me, Frodo.”

 

Bilbo liked when things were actually explained to him, not when one of his lovers told him to keep quiet and follow him for no reason. He was about to complain out loud, but Bofur put a hand on his lips, smiling.

“Jus’ wait until we get in front of Thorin’s room.”

The hobbit frowned, but followed. He had to lay his ear against the wooden door to hear something, but when he did, a smile grew on his lips. Frodo was singing his own version of the Misty Mountains song, and… Thorin was humming along?

“That’s too cute to be true, ain’t it?” Bofur whispered to him, smiling wide. Bilbo nodded.

 

Frodo came out of the bedroom five minutes later, and went all smiling to the kitchen, an empty cup in his hands. When he saw that Bilbo was staring at him, he simply explained “Thorin finished his tea quickly so I could take the cup back. Your song really is magic, he became really nice when I started singing it!”.

Bilbo and Bofur shared a look, before laughing heartily.

“Did you know that Thorin’s the one who made me discover that song, Frodo?”

“Really?” The child’s eyes widened in wonder. “Is that a dwarf song?”

“Yup”, Bofur answered for him. “I hope Thorin’s getting his voice back soon, so you can hear it sung by two real dwarves!”

Bilbo smiled at that, but Frodo narrowed his eyes. “You two keep talking about his voice, that’s weird.”

The adults both coughed a lot, before Bofur tried again, a bit awkwardly: “well maybe we just admire him a lot because we like him a lot…”

“Bofur, hush!”

“Don’t you like me a lot, Bilbo?” Thorin said as he entered the room, smiling fondly at them. Had probably been spying on their conversation. Bilbo was torn being angry at this or worried for his health because he was not supposed to get up any time soon, but the king was quicker than him.

“’Cause _I_ sure like you a lot too. You and Bofur.”

The hobbit finally gave up, and smiled back to his lover. “I like you a lot too.”

That was the moment when Bofur decided to wink at Frodo. “Well _I_ know what _this_ calls for, don’t you Frodo?”

The child threw his arms in the air. “Celebration pancakes! I’ll buy the eggs!” he shouted, before going out of the room running. Bilbo frowned at Bofur.

“We had pancakes yesterday.”

“But these were not _celebration pancakes_ , Bilbo. For someone who loves to eat, you should be able to make the difference!”

“What’s the difference,” Thorin asked.

“The amount of maple syrup,” Bofur said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Bilbo snorted and finally admitted that yes, he was always up for celebration pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I made you guys wait so long, I became lazy and all, but at least this chapter is rather long and I'm almost on vacation, so hopefully I'll be able to write a lot next week! Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the kudos <3


	7. Nicknames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry guys, I've written this like three weeks ago if not more, and now I'm just... stuck. So it's going to be quite short, and I'm sorry, but I thought I'd still post it anyway and wait for inspiration to come again. Hope you'll still have fun reading it!  
> PS : I did not come up with the Khuzdul in this chapter, I just had fun with some vocabulary I found

“Are you sure about this, Bofur?”

“Told’ya billions of times already, Thorin: I’m the one offering to ye a romantic night jus’ between ye two, so yeah. Totally fine. I mean, ye both deserve it; you and I we spent a whole year together without Bilbo, and I got to spend some months alone with him before you came… Actually, one night is not even enough for you two.”

If there was one thing to which Thorin Oakenshield could not say ‘no’, that was Bofur’s smile. He took a deep breath, and smiled back.

“It means a lot to me Bofur… thanks.”

“And that’s when you kiss me before our two hobbits come back from the marketplace for diner,” said the toymaker.

Thorin chuckled, and leaned forward to kiss him.

 

Frodo seemed really happy to spend the whole evening with his uncle Bofur, and could not wait to talk to him, listen to some dwarf stories or legends, or even learn to play more songs with his flute. Bofur was actually so good at catching his attention that the child never heard Thorin who walked pass his door to join Bilbo in his bedroom.

It did not take long for both the king and the hobbit to lock the door and share long, passionate kisses. Bilbo laughed and slightly pushed Thorin away, who made a noise to show just how much he disagreed.

“Well Thorin, looks like somebody’s eager tonight,” Bilbo said with a smile.

The dwarf smiled back and kissed him again.

“That’s because it’s been a long time since the last time Bofur left us in private… during the first weeks following the fight for Erebor, that is to say years ago. And knowing that Bofur could spend so much time alone with you actually made me feel jealous.”

Bilbo chuckled. “Well that’s funny, because I’ve been thinking the exact same thing about you two when I learnt that you’d get an entire year without me… In fact, I still envy you, because I’ve noticed that since that year you spent together, there’s this thing between you two, this… _tenderness_ you won’t share with me.”

Thorin seemed a bit lost at that point. “What do you mean exactly?”

“It’s just… you know, the fact that you can both stare at each other’s eyes for hours while whispering kind words. I just don’t get why I’m not allowed to live the same with either of you.” If he were to be honest, Bilbo would say that hearing Thorin laugh at that point was by far not how he expected him to react.

“ _Kibil-nâla_ , that’s just the way dwarves show their love to each other! It’s something more… chaste than what we’re obviously more used to with you, but that’s really the only reason we’d act like that!”

Bilbo remained silent for a while, still thinking about what Thorin had told him.

“Well thank you, I guess that it helps me understand you two a bit more… then again, what were those Khuzdul words right at the beginning?”

The king seemed to be somewhat embarrassed about that, as if slipping those words away had not been planned at all. “What about we get back to what we were doing instead? By the way, tell me how _you_ ’d like me to love you tonight, since I heard you were more fond of a… more tender kind of love?”

The hobbit laughed and kissed him again, before he explained to his lover what he wanted from him for that night. But once they were both exhausted in the middle of the night, and about to fall asleep, he was still able to hear the few words his lover whispered to him in that unknown language. And not grasping their meaning still annoyed him until he finally fell asleep.

 

“Soooo, _Kibil-nâla_ , eh?” Bofur smiled widely, then inhaled on his pipe. “That’s almost more poetic than mine, ye be proud of it!”

Sitting on his garden bench with Bofur for their morning smoking, Bilbo mumbled. “Still doesn’t tell me what this means. Why do both of you keep it secret, Khuzdul is not for anyone to learn or what?”

The toymaker smiled, and took a deep breath of tobacco again. “ _Kibil-nâla_ means silver lode. Can understand why Thorin’s not comfortable for calling ye that, that’s also a river name so that must sound more elvish than romantic in his head, if y’know what I mean.”

Bilbo’s eyes widened. “You mean he wasn’t swearing or anything, that’s just my new… _nickname_?”

“I like it, _Kibil-nâla_. Very romantic.”

The hobbit smiled again. “Well so was yours.”

“Agreed.”

They remained silent for a while, simply enjoying their smoking, until Bofur spoke again. “Ye know what, Bilbo? It’s unfair.”

“What is?”

“We too should be able to find him a cute stupid nickname, that’d be so romantic he’d blush each time we’d say it to him.” Bilbo laughed heartily at the mere idea that Thorin Oakenshield could possibly blush. In fact, the only times he had seen the king’s cheeks red, it was because he had been exhausted from training or something more intimate.

“Well I’d love that, but you forget that I still need one of you to teach me the basics of your language for that.”

“My Khuzdul is still very rusty, but y’know what. Ye should write to Balin, and ask him to send ye books ‘bout it.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” the hobbit said before he stole a kiss from his lover’s lips. Said lover pretended to be shocked by that, moving away from him.

“My goodness Bilbo, we’re outside, for everyone to see!”

“Oh please, the whole Shire already knows we’re _married_.”

“Who are ye and what did ye do of my kind and very respectable hobbit!”

“I kicked him away the day he decided to fall in love with not one but _two_ dwarves.”

“Fair enough.”

They both laughed cheerfully and shared another kiss. Thorin, who was looking at them from the front door frame, smiled. “Both of you, get inside now, Frodo’s waiting for second breakfast to be served.”

“No one should ever have to wait for second breakfast under my watch!” Bilbo shouted as he jumped to his feet.

Both him and Bofur kissed Thorin once they were inside and the door closed behind them, before they all went into the kitchen.

That was the beginning of a great new day.


End file.
